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Curiosity #33 - Are you a Sam or a Keeley?

May 21, 2025
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🎤 Quotable quotes: "Just listen to your gut okay. And on your way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they'll let you know what is what." Ted Lasso


🧠 Weekly Curiosities | Issue: “Core to Culture”

What happens when your personal values don’t match the culture around you?

You feel it.

You feel it in your gut, your inbox, your meetings, your Monday mornings.

This week, we’re walking you through our Core-to-Culture Alignment Framework—a tool to help you map where you stand and what to do about it. Because great leadership isn’t just about what you do—it’s about where and how you lead from.

🎯 How to Use This

  • The horizontal axis = Your personal values

  • The vertical axis = Your organization's values

Ask yourself:
➡️ How clear and consistent are my values right now in my everyday work?
⬆️ How aligned are they with what I see every day in my job?

Plot yourself on the grid.
Then ask:

What’s working? What’s warning you? What’s worth changing?

Let’s bring it to life with four Ted Lasso characters who embody each quadrant—not always neatly, but memorably.


🟩 Integrity in Motion

Character: Sam Obisanya
Mood: Energized. Authentic. Fully aligned.
Scene Stealer: When Sam speaks out against Dubai Air, risking it all to stand for what matters—and his club backs him up.
Quip: “Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing.”
What to Do:
You’re in your sweet spot. Mentor others. Model consistency. Protect the culture. You’re not just part of the system—you are the system at its best.


🟨 Silent Friction

Character: Coach Beard (not always - but you know it when you see it - looking at you Season 2)
Mood: Drained. Resentful. You’re showing up, but the joy’s not.
Scene Stealer: In “Beard After Hours,” we watch him unravel silently—showing the toll of being values-driven but not always heard.
Quip: [sighs with existential weight]
What to Do:
Pause. Revisit your values. Ask where the static’s coming from. Do you need better boundaries—or a bigger conversation?


🟧 Value-Driven Misfit

Character: Keeley Jones
Mood: Empowered. Cautious. You’ve got clarity—your org doesn’t.
Scene Stealer: Keeley rejects Jack’s hush money. Her voice? Crystal clear. The system? Muddy.
Quip: “I’m not shrinking myself to make anyone else comfortable.”
What to Do:
You’re ready to lead—but maybe not from the top. Influence up. Build bridges. Advocate change. You might be the culture shift someone else is hoping for.


🟥 Culture Clash

Character: Nate Shelley (Season 2–3 arc)
Mood: Disconnected. Skeptical. You’re not just misaligned—you’re misrepresented.
Scene Stealer: From trusted strategist to shadowy sideline. Nate’s not wrong about wanting recognition—but he’s lost himself in the process.
Quip: “It’s not just what you do. It’s who you become while doing it.”
What to Do:
This one’s tough. You may need to pause or pivot. Start the hard conversation—or start planning your next chapter. Your growth matters more than your comfort.


More leadership musings


🍪 Biscuits with the Boss: 

Which quadrant are you in right now—and what’s one small action that would move you closer to alignment?

Challenge: This question is a challenge. If you are feeling tension in your team, this might be a tough pill to swallow. But it is important to learn where people stand (especially if they are doing this silently).

Bonus challenge: Reply with your quadrant and your favorite Ted Lasso quote that captures how you're feeling. We'll feature a few in next week’s Biscuit Box!

 


🏅Whistle. Whistle. A little Roy Kent Tough Love Advice:

If you’ve gotta convince yourself it’s fine, it probably f***ing isn’t.
You can’t build a life—or a team—on values you only sort of believe in.


Figure out what matters to you, then stop apologizing for giving a damn.


And if the place you’re in doesn’t respect that? Don’t stay and rot. Get up and go find something worth bleeding for.


📚Beard’s collection: 

📖 Stafford, Erin. The Type A Trap: Five Mindset Shifts to Beat Burnout and Transform Your Life. Amplify Publishing, 2023.
Still showing up, crushing goals, and wondering why you feel like a deflated soccer ball? Stafford gets it. This one’s for the overachievers stuck in Silent Friction—doing all the right things, but feeling none of the right feels. It’s part wake-up call, part playbook, and all about realigning your ambition with something that actually feeds you. Less hustle, more harmony—Ted would approve.

📖 Fisher, Jefferson. The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More. Penguin Life, 2025.
Ever feel like you're stuck in Silent Friction, nodding along while your inner voice screams? Fisher, a trial lawyer turned communication coach, delivers a playbook for turning tension into trust. With practical scripts and real-world scenarios, this book helps you navigate tough conversations with clarity and confidence—no whistle needed.

📖 Griffin, Amy. The Tell. Random House, 2025.
Struggling with Value-Driven Misfit vibes? Griffin's memoir chronicles her journey from venture capitalist to whistleblower, revealing the personal cost of misalignment. Her story underscores the importance of self-awareness and the courage it takes to realign your path when the culture no longer fits.


🌎 This week in Here - There - Every F’ing where 

Marnie attended a Meet the Author event at Caroline County Public Library this week (always slightly odd to realize she was the author being met). Folks answered some questions to see if they Read It Like Lasso. And two of the participants took spare copies for their bookclubs. It was great fun! Thanks for having me!

Hope to meet you out and about,

Nick & Marnie


📦 Nate’s suggestion box: We love hearing your ideas! Got a thought about leadership? Reply to this email and let us know. Your suggestion might just make it into a future newsletter.

 

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