🎤 Quotable quotes: “You made me think it, and it’s basically the same thing."
— Phoebe
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Season 3, Episode 10 gives us one of the most delightfully tender scenes in the entire series. Roy is at his Happy Uncle Day Party, thrown by Phoebe because she is, as always, wise and adorable. Jamie shows up with a gift that might as well have come wrapped in sunshine. He hands Roy the original kit jersey from the 2014 World Cup. Roy loves it. Truly loves it.
One tiny detail. Jamie misspelled Roy’s last name with a U instead of an E.
Phoebe, keeper of the swear jar and moral compass of the show, calls Jamie out.
Jamie: “I didn’t say nothing.”
Phoebe: “You made me think it, and it’s basically the same thing.”
And there it is. A line that is funny, innocent, and sneakily brilliant.
Because Phoebe is right. You do not have to say a thing out loud to communicate it.
🏟 Why This Matters for You
Every day, in every room, we are communicating far more than the words that come out of our mouths. Tone, posture, silence, eye contact, sighs, smirks, and timing all deliver messages. Sometimes they strengthen trust. Sometimes they chip away at it.
People feel what you mean long before they process what you say.
This can be your advantage. Or your disadvantage.
Here is what Phoebe’s insight teaches us:
1. Your intention always leaks out.
If you are frustrated, people feel it. If you are proud of someone, they feel that too. You cannot hide what you carry. You can only choose what you bring.
2. Silence is communication.
Not responding, hesitating, or withdrawing sends a message. Sometimes it is supportive. Sometimes it creates confusion. Use it wisely.
3. Humor communicates values.
Jamie’s joke worked because love was underneath it. The people around you can tell whether your humor builds connection or puts distance between you and others.
4. Energy is contagious.
Your attitude sets the weather in the room. A leader who walks in with warmth brings out the best in others. A leader who walks in cold makes everyone brace for the storm.
5. People remember how you made them feel more than how you phrased your sentences.
If you make someone think they matter, they will not forget it.
If you make someone think they do not, they will not forget that either.
When Phoebe says “you made me think it,” what she is really saying is this:
Your presence speaks. Make sure it says what you intend.
🫶 Stay curious,
— Nick & Marnie
Your tea sipping, silently communicating, Jamie Tartt appreciating friends
More leadership musings
🍪 Biscuits with the Boss:
Think of a moment when someone communicated something to you without saying a word.
What was the message, and how did you know it?
Now flip it. What silent message do you want to send more intentionally this week?
📚Beard’s collection:
:
📖 Reiman, Tonya. The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Settings. Pocket, 2007.
A practical guide to understanding what your posture, gestures, and expressions reveal. Great for anyone who wants to make sure their silent messages match their spoken ones.
📖 Van Edwards, Vanessa. Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication. Portfolio, 2022.
A modern look at the small signals that create trust or tension. This book breaks down micro expressions, tone, and timing in a way that is actually usable in everyday life.
🌎 This week in Here - There - Every F’ing where
First the story of how we met the podcasters of Peanut Butter and Biscuits Ted Lasso podcast
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If you have any interest in authoring your own book, be sure to check out our episode of Before the Bestseller here.
And if this newsletter hit home and you want to learn more about body language and polish. Check out our friend Presilah here.
Believe!
Nick & Marnie
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