Curiosity #55 - Find Out Before You Flip Out

🎤 Quotable quotes: “You should find out before you flip out."

— Leslie Higgins

Every team needs a Higgins. The one who can deliver truth wrapped in tea and kindness.

In this moment, Ted’s heart is doing cartwheels. He is convinced that Dr. Jacob whisking Michelle off to Paris means an engagement is coming. Panic, jealousy, and heartbreak are all ready to pile in. Higgins, ever the voice of reason, gently reminds Ted to pause and gather facts before his imagination becomes a full-blown parade.

It’s funny because it’s Ted. But it’s real because it’s us.

How often do we do the same thing and fill in the blanks before we have the details?

🏟 Why This Matters for You

In Lead It Like Lasso, curiosity is a leadership superpower. “Be curious, not judgmental” might be the show’s most famous line, but Higgins’ “find out before you flip out” might just be its practical sequel.

Here’s the truth: assumptions are emotional shortcuts. They give us the illusion of control, but often they only fuel anxiety, frustration, or conflict.

Strong leaders, like Higgins, know that curiosity slows things down long enough to find the truth. It buys time to check what’s real, what’s rumor, and what’s reaction.

A few reminders from the Higgins School of Calm Leadership:

1. Pause the story. When your mind jumps to conclusions, stop and ask, “What do I actually know?”

2. Ask, don’t assume. Curiosity turns confrontation into conversation.

3. Check your source. Emotions are powerful storytellers. Facts are quieter but far more reliable.

4. Respond, don’t react. Even when the news is bad, leading from composure builds trust and confidence.

5. Practice grace. Most of the time, what we fear is not the full picture. And even if it is, you’ll handle it better from peace than panic.

Leadership, like life, gives us endless moments to either flip out or find out. Choose the one that makes you proud later.

🫶 Stay curious,
— Nick & Marnie
Your tea sipping, truth seeking, curiosity keeping friends

More leadership musings

🍪 Biscuits with the Boss: 

Think of a recent moment when you jumped to a conclusion before getting the facts.

If you could replay it, what question would you ask first?

📚Beard’s collection: When Higgins reminds Ted to “find out before you flip out,” he’s really giving a masterclass in patience, perspective, and curiosity. So this week, Beard’s cracked open a few books that pair nicely with a quiet cup of tea and a deep breath before reacting.

📖 Daniel Kahneman. Thinking Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013.
The classic on why our brains jump to conclusions and how slowing down helps us make smarter choices.

📖 Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler. Crucial Conversations. McGraw Hill, 2011.
A practical guide for replacing reaction with reflection and turning tough moments into productive ones.

📖 Jean Greaves, Travis Bradberry. Emotional Intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart, 2009.
A straightforward guide to understanding your emotions before they take the wheel. Because sometimes the smartest move in leadership is to take a breath before you take a stand.

🌎 This week in Here - There - Every F’ing where 

We had a blast with the AWS Federal Civil Division last week (we always love workshopping how to Lead it Like Lasso)!

(Marnie promises to work on her 'ussies'.)

Here's a sneek peek at the Caroline County Council of Arts talk on mental health and art where we connected with the elements of Ted :)

Believe! 

Nick & Marnie