Curiosity #28 - The Art of Being Human (Even in Tech)

🎤Quotable Quote

“There’s no tradeoff between behaving like a human and achieving speed or outcomes.”
— Luca Rossi, Founder of Refactoring

💡 Curiosity Sparked

What happens when one of the most respected voices in engineering leadership says out loud what many of us quietly believe?

That empathy isn't a weakness.
That character isn’t fluff.
That being human at work doesn’t slow us down — it might actually be our biggest edge.

In this week’s episode of Leadership Rules, we sat down with Luca Rossi, founder of the wildly popular Refactoring newsletter, and explored what leadership looks like in a world ruled by AI, algorithms, and endless optimization. Spoiler alert: it still comes down to people.

Luca’s journey is filled with lessons. From an underprepared co-founder straight out of university to a global thought leader with over 140,000 readers, he has navigated his path with humility, curiosity, and a knack for learning out loud.

What stuck with us most? It wasn’t his insights on DevOps (though The Phoenix Project is now on our nightstands), or his deep love for strong espresso (sorry, tea). It was this:

"If what you’re writing makes you too comfortable, maybe you’re not saying something that really matters."

Whether you're writing, building, or leading — discomfort is a clue. It means you’re stretching. Reaching. Risking honesty in a world that often rewards performance.

We don’t need more perfect leaders. We need more real ones.
And Luca? He’s one of the real ones.

🎧 In this conversation, you’ll also walk away with:
– Why communication isn’t just a soft skill — it’s a leadership multiplier
– How discomfort (yes, even imposter syndrome) can be a creative compass
– The value of treating yourself like a startup — complete with your own tagline
– What tech leaders often get wrong about empathy and outcomes
– Why building a "Diamond Dogs"-style board of advisors might be your smartest move yet

More Musings

🍪 Biscuits with the Boss:

“If your leadership style were an open-source tool, what would its README file say?”

Engineers know that every tool has a README — a guide that helps others understand how it works, how to collaborate with it, and how to use it well.

Now imagine you as the tool.
What would your README say?

Would it include things like:

• Best environments for optimal performance?

• Known bugs or blind spots?

• Communication preferences?

• Contributions welcome?

Bonus points if you actually write it and share it with your team. (Or better yet, ask them to write one about you. Brave, but worth it.)

🏅 Whistle. Whistle.

"Being a jerk isn’t leadership. It’s just being a jerk."

Luca reminded us that there’s no tradeoff between being human and delivering results. You can move fast and lead with empathy. You can drive outcomes without steamrolling people.

So why do so many leaders still think they have to choose?

Roy Kent might say it like this:

“If you need to be a hardass to get people to listen, maybe you’re not that good at your job.”

Turns out, character isn’t a soft skill. It’s the whole damn framework.

📚Beard’s collection: 

📖 Johnson, Claire Hughes. Scaling People: Tactics for Management and Company Building. Stripe Press, 2023.

A favorite from Luca’s world, and a must-read for anyone building teams in tech (or frankly, anywhere). This is not a fluffy leadership book—it’s a tactical manual. From hiring to feedback to those “Working With Me” docs, it’s packed with practical tools for scaling your leadership as fast as your codebase.

📖 Zhuo, Julie. The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You. Portfolio, 2019.

Ever feel like you got promoted into leadership with a pat on the back and no instruction manual? Same. Julie Zhuo’s honest, no-nonsense guide is perfect for new (or accidental) leaders. Especially relevant if, like Luca, you found yourself learning to lead on the fly.

📖 Edmondson, Amy C. Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well. Atria Books, 2023.

If Luca’s story reminds us of anything, it’s that failure isn’t a detour—it’s part of the process. Amy Edmondson (yes, the psychological safety pioneer) breaks down how smart leaders build teams that fail forward, fast. It's science, it’s practical, and it might just change how you look at setbacks.

🌎 This week in Here - There - Every F’ing where

If you missed the big news the last couple of weeks, we are adding a satirical sidekick to this newsletter (It is called Work in ProgMess - come on - Ted would love that ;) ). You can get a taste for our humor (have Roy Kent in mind) by checking out the first couple of issues here. We would love to have you subscribe!

🎤 Lights. Camera. Lasso.
We hit the studio (okay, it was a real TV interview!) to talk about Lead It Like Lasso and the International Impact Awards. If you’ve ever wondered how Marnie rocks a mic or how Nick handles being “camera ready,” this is your behind-the-scenes peek at our big moment.

📣 Keeley-Approved Praise from LinkedIn
This one made our week: Jenn Garner (no, not that one, but still 🔥) dropped an incredible review of Lead It Like Lasso on LinkedIn. She called it one of her favorite leadership books and said she matched most with Keeley on our quiz — followed by Roy and Sam. Her post is a masterclass in thoughtful reflection and quiet confidence.

It’s also a beautiful reminder that not all leaders are loud. Some lead by listening, by lifting others, by changing the room with presence instead of volume.

#leadership #introvertedleader #tedlasso #thoughtleadership...... I took a break from my usual mystery thrillers to finally read Lead It Like Lasso-a book that had been collecting dust on my shelf for fa... www.linkedin.com

Barbecue Sauce!

Marnie & Nick

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