🎤 Quotable quotes: “I love meeting people's moms. It's like reading an instruction manual as to why they're nuts."
— Ted Lasso
We tend to associate origin stories with superheroes.
Bruce Wayne loses his parents. Peter Parker gets bitten by a spider. Superman arrives from Krypton. Something happens that helps explain the person they eventually become.
But you don't need a cape, a Batmobile, or an unfortunate encounter with a radioactive spider to have an origin story.
You have one too.
So do we (we'd love for you to ask us: Why it was so important Nick had to go to the bathroom?).
In fact, one of the things we talk about quite a bit is how much better we understand ourselves when we start connecting the dots between where we've been and who we've become.
And, as is so often the case, Ted Lasso gives us plenty of examples.
🏟 Everyone at Richmond Has an Origin Story
When we first meet Jamie Tartt, he's pretty easy to dislike. He's arrogant, selfish, obsessed with being the star, and not particularly concerned about how his behavior affects everyone else.
Then we meet his dad.
Suddenly, Jamie's behavior doesn't necessarily become acceptable, but it becomes more understandable. We begin to see where his definition of success came from and why being the best matters so much to him.
Rebecca has an origin story too. The cold, intimidating owner Ted meets in Season 1 makes a lot more sense once we understand Rupert, the betrayal she experienced, and just how badly she wants to hurt the thing he loves.
Roy has spent most of his life being a footballer. When his playing career ends, he doesn't just have to find another job. He has to figure out who Roy Kent is when the thing that defined him for most of his life is suddenly gone.
And then there's Ted. The relentlessly optimistic guy with the mustache starts to look a little different as we learn more about his childhood, his father, and why being there for other people matters so much to him.
That's one of the things Ted Lasso does remarkably well. It keeps reminding us that the person we're seeing today didn't simply arrive that way.
There's a story behind the story.
🔍 Your Experiences Leave Clues
Most of our origin stories aren't dramatic enough for television. They're usually built from hundreds of smaller moments.
The coach who believed in you. The teacher who embarrassed you. The first boss who gave you a chance. The parent you desperately wanted to make proud. The friendship that changed you. The time you failed spectacularly. The moment you discovered you were actually pretty good at something.
Those experiences leave clues.
They help explain why you value certain things. Why particular behaviors drive you crazy. Why some situations bring out your best and others make you want to run for the nearest exit. They influence what you believe you're good at, what you avoid, what motivates you, and even the stories you tell yourself about who you are.
Put enough of those clues together and patterns start to emerge.
Your experiences are data.
The interesting question is whether you've ever stopped long enough to study them.
🧐 There's Always More to the Story
Maybe that's why Ted loves meeting people's moms. He's joking, of course, but there's some truth hiding underneath it.
The people we become don't appear out of nowhere. We're shaped by our families, our experiences, our successes, our disappointments, and the people who showed up at important moments along the way.
Learning someone's backstory has an amazing ability to turn “What's wrong with them?” into “Ahhh... now I understand them a little better.”
That doesn't mean bad behavior suddenly becomes okay. Understanding isn't the same thing as excusing. But knowing someone's origin story gives us context that we didn't have before.
We think the same principle applies to ourselves. Instead of simply judging the things we struggle with, we can investigate them. Why does that situation bother me so much? Why do I react that way? Why do I feel most energized doing this kind of work? Why do I keep avoiding that?
Sometimes the answer is hiding somewhere in your origin story.
🧭 Your Origin Story Isn't Your Ending
There's an important catch to all of this.
Understanding your past doesn't mean becoming trapped by it.
Jamie could have decided that his relationship with his dad was simply why he behaved the way he did. Rebecca could have allowed what Rupert did to determine how she treated people forever. Roy could have decided that if he wasn't a footballer anymore, the most important part of his life was behind him.
Instead, each of them had to decide which parts of their story they wanted to carry forward and which ones they were ready to change.
We have that choice too.
Maybe an experience taught you to avoid taking risks. Maybe an early failure convinced you that you weren't good at something. Maybe you've spent years describing yourself as shy, bad with money, terrible at public speaking, not creative, or “just not a leader.”
Your origin story might help explain where that belief came from.
That doesn't mean it has to remain true.
Your past gets a vote. It doesn't get a veto.
📖 The Business of You
This is one of the reasons we spend so much time in The Business of You encouraging people to look backward before they start planning forward.
We're usually pretty eager to ask, “What do I want to do next?”
That's an important question. But we think there's another one worth asking first:
“What has everything I've already done taught me about myself?”
Look at the experiences you've accumulated. Find the moments that mattered. Pay attention to the patterns. Figure out what they tell you about your values, your strengths, the things that energize you, and the things that don't.
Then use that information to make better choices about what comes next.
You aren't living in the past.
You're learning from it.
🏁 Final Thought
You don't need radioactive spiders, murdered parents, or a home planet named Krypton to have an origin story.
You already have one.
It's in the people you've met, the chances you've taken, the things that hurt, the things that worked, the times you surprised yourself, and probably a few decisions you'd rather not discuss in a newsletter.
Be curious about those experiences. Connect the dots. Figure out what they've taught you about yourself.
Because your origin story can help explain who you are.
You still get to write who comes next.
— Nick & Marnie
Your tea sipping, dot connecting, origin story exploring friends
More leadership musings
🍪 Biscuits with the Boss:
Here's one for your team, your family, your friends, or your own journal:
What's one experience from your origin story that explains something about who you are today?
Maybe it explains something you're proud of. Maybe it explains something you've struggled with.
Then ask the harder question:
Is what you learned from that experience still serving you?
That second answer might be particularly interesting.
🌎 This week in Here - There - Every F’ing where
We have been invited to the FocusED Live Podcast - and we'd like to invite you to listen in :). Here is the link with the details - Thursday 5-5:30 pm.
If you are playing along at home with Season 4 of Ted Lasso, then this week was perfect. Marnie helped interview 192 students in a mock interview day. The first question: Tell me about yourself. With the exception of one, every other student she talked to needed some work here (we find this isn't just true for students). That said - once the students got going, they talked about doing some really cool things :)
Believe!
Nick & Marnie
|
||||||
Responses