Curiosity #1 It's not about who you know, it's about who knows you

🎤 Ted’s quotable quote: “Be curious, not judgmental.”

As we launch our first newsletter, we wanted to start with one of the most iconic lines from Ted Lasso. If you are reading this, then you no doubt cheered as Ted beat Rupert in darts. And we would like to thank you for being curious about what a Lead It Like Lasso newsletter might have to offer! Our mission is to help as many folks as possible become the best versions of themselves. So whether you are leading yourself (personal leadership is critical for everyone) or leading others, we plan to deliver actionable tips to your inbox.

Borrow/steal all of it…

• Send Ted's quotable quote out in a newsletter.
• Start tomorrow morning’s meeting with our Biscuits with the Boss icebreaker.
• Casually drop off a printed copy of Roy's tough love advice to a friend or forward to the whole team. 
• Be sure to check out the extras and tell us what you think ... 📚 🎙️ 📦

But first, let's start with this week's musings by Marnie Stockman & Nick Coniglio

6 Steps You Need for You

Because it’s not what or who you know that matters, it is who knows you

When you think of Ted Lasso, what comes to mind? Is it his endless positivity? His relentless kindness? His ability to coach? Or maybe his belief in ‘Believe’?

How do you know these things to be true about Ted? Because you watched them come to life in the relationships that he built and the actions he took. From his Biscuits with the Boss bonding with Rebecca to the books he put in the players lockers, we witnessed actions that showed us who Ted Lasso really was.

Now back in real life (IRL), here’s the question we need to ask ourselves: What would you want someone to say about you?

Here’s why we ask... So many times in business and in life, we hear the saying: It isn’t what you know, but who you know. Whether you are looking for a job, a landscaper, a blind date, a promotion, a deal on a new purchase or a letter of recommendation, it is often our connections and more importantly the relationships with those connections that help us meet our goals. (Well, unless you are using Bantr to get that blind date.)

If you ask a successful person how they got their job, you will often hear them say that they “knew someone.” Connections are important and building that bond or relationship is even more critical. But it doesn’t happen by luck or coincidence. The most successful people know how to optimize their connections. And you can to. Here are the 6 Steps You Need for You:

1. Know yourself (your best version) Ask yourself if Trent Crimm was writing an article about you, what words would you like him to use to describe you? Are you smart, humble and helpful? Strong-willed, dedicated and hard-working? Or are you thoughtful, creative and a great teammate? It is important to think about what you want someone to say about you. Because if you are unclear of what the best version of you looks like, how can you ensure that that is what other folks see? So take a minute and think about what you would like someone to say about you behind your back. If you need some ideas, you can check out this list of core values here.

2. Know what that looks like

When Trent Crimm wrote his first article about Ted Lasso, he didn’t just say he was positive, humble and a great leader. He gave examples of how those traits played out in the locker room every day. An example: Ted was subtle in convincing Roy Kent that he should be the little girl in a Wrinkle in Time.

So it is time for you to think about what actions you can take to ensure you are highlighting the best version of you.

Do you want someone to know that you are ambitious? Then have you shared with them ideas about improvements that could be made at work or in your company?

If you want to be seen as helpful, do you keep your head down and keep to yourself while getting your job done? Or do you look around help teammates and find ways to make others better?

Take your list of traits and write down 3-5 actions or behaviors that align to your value to ensure someone would use those words to describe you. 

3. Who do you know?

Marnie was recently working with a college student who was hoping to get an internship next summer. She asked him who was going to write his letters of recommendation. His response started with "Well, maybe I could ask a couple of my professors to write one". Maybe?! It sounded like he was just hoping it would work out. But hope is not a strategy.

Instead, create a plan to set yourself up for success.

Ask yourself who would be your dream recommendation? In his case, he said Jensen Huang, CEO of Nvidia. (So Jensen, if you are reading this and want to write a recommendation, please let us know. He’d be thrilled!) More likely - that wasn’t completely realistic (although Marnie did suggest that he should like, comment and follow him on LinkedIn. That is certainly the lowest form of connection, but by following him, he can learn from him and leaders and influencers get value from the likes, follows and comments.).

But then she asked for three people in his current circle and represented different areas of his life. So he listed a professor, an employer and a former coach. For each of those people, Marnie asked him to consider what a dream recommendation letter would look like. What would each of them say about him? And more importantly what actions did he need to take to ensure they knew the best version of him?

 Just sitting up front in class and raising your hand doesn’t build a relationship with a professor. So he created a plan to go to Office hours to have conversations that would allow the professor to see his strengths and his willingness to work to improve. He planned to pitch an idea to his employer that would help his department. And he would reconnect with his former coach to nurture that relationship.

The same can be done at an existing job if you are hoping for a promotion. If you own a company or are in charge of sales, the same strategy can be used to get referrals to new prospects. And if you just want to be a better friend or parent, you can use the same idea.

Decide what actions you should take to guarantee your relationships are built on the best version of you. And make a plan for taking those actions with your connections.

4. Check yourself before you wreck yourself

One of the things that was most notable about Ted Lasso was how authentic he was. Regardless of what the fans were chanting about him, how hard the press questioned him, or what the players said about him, he was very consistent in who he was. 

Now Ted never had to worry about his social media accounts because he didn't have any (except for the one someone created for his mustache). For most of the rest of us, however, we do have a social media presence that we need to assure is aligned with the best version we want to project. So use this checklist to review your social media accounts to ensure that they are honest, accurate and consistent with your best version. HR departments, hiring managers and potential dates will certainly be checking these to make sure they are consistent with what they have heard from others.

5. Guarantee your success

We said it before, but it is worth repeating. Hope is not a strategy for getting the job of your dreams or the life you want and deserve. So do not leave your reputation to a wish. If you have done steps one through four, then you know who you are and who you want to be. You know what behaviors align and which ones don’t. And you know which relationships you would like to nurture moving forward

There are two more things that you can do to make sure your plan works:

1. Talk with your Diamond Dogs. Those are the people you trust to not just give you advice, but to give you the (Oklahoma) honest truth as well. Ask them what words they would use to describe you behind your back. If there’s a disconnect, then dig in deeper and do the work to ensure you are showing them your best version.
2. Don't leave your connections guessing. If you're aiming for a promotion, job, internship, or admission to your dream college, a powerful letter of recommendation can make all the difference. If you've followed the right steps to earn it, you should feel confident when asking for one. When requesting a recommendation, give them the tools to highlight your strengths. Provide specific examples or information that will help them write the kind of recommendation that showcases your achievements and aligns with your goals. This thoughtful approach can turn a good recommendation into a great one.

6. And make sure to nurture that relationship because you never know

Building strong connections is only half the journey—nurturing those relationships is what transforms them into lasting, meaningful bonds. Just like Ted Lasso, who consistently invested in his relationships through small but significant gestures, you need to continue showing up. Send a thoughtful message, share a helpful resource, or simply ask how they’re doing. A healthy relationship requires attention and care, and your effort to keep that connection strong will pay off in ways you might not expect.

Final Thought: Your network is a living, breathing extension of your character and your values. When you invest in those relationships, you're not just opening doors for your future success—you’re building a foundation of trust, support, and mutual growth. And that, in the end, is where real success begins. Barbecue Sauce!

More leadership musings

🍪 Biscuits with the Boss icebreaker: We know Ted asked Rebecca to name her first concert- best concert? So if you have already used that one, ask what's your go-to karaoke song?

What is yours? For the record, Marnie is answering this one today… If I am forced to sing (and believe me, it is not a good idea for you to make this request), I will go with John Denver’s Thank God I’m a Country Boy. First, there aren’t a lot of high notes. Plus my dad would play this for the family on his guitar when I was little so I know all the words and as an Orioles fan, it is the 7th inning stretch song.

🏅Whistle. Whistle. Roy's tough love advice: “Don’t you dare settle for fine.” For sure we had to kick off our first newsletter with this Roy Kent gem. If you are just coasting right now (in work or in life), ask yourself if you are just settling. If so, do we need to send Roy your way at 4am to start training?

Take a minute to reflect on what might be holding you back. There is such thing as fear of success. Is that is what is stopping you from your best version? We agree with Roy and you deserve a life that makes you hop out of bed each morning like you have been struck by lightning! Take some time for yourself today to think about where you are and where you want to be. Write that down. And create a path to get there. Let’s goooooo!

📚Beard’s collection: Recommended books and articles

📖 Hoffman, Reid, and Ben Casnocha. The Startup of You: Adapt to the Future, Invest in Yourself, and Transform Your Career. Crown Business, 2012.

The Startup of You emphasizes that building a personal brand is less about self-promotion and more about fostering meaningful relationships and showing your value through actions. By investing in your network, you create opportunities for others to see your strengths, making it easier to ask for and receive genuine recommendations. As Hoffman and Casnocha suggest, who knows you and what they know about you is critical for professional growth, reinforcing the importance of demonstrating your core values and earning endorsements over time.

📖 Grant, Adam. Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success. Viking, 2013.

Give and Take dives deeper into the power of building meaningful relationships, focusing on how generosity and nurturing connections can lead to greater success in both personal and professional life. It aligns well with the themes of optimizing relationships, showing up as your best self, and investing in others. 

🔗 A New Approach to Building your Personal Brand from Harvard Business Review

Ted Lasso clearly has brought so many great ideas into the world, Harvard Business Review is known for having one or two of its own. Here is their fresh perspective on personal branding, focusing on aligning your values with how you present yourself to the world. It emphasizes authenticity, continuous learning, and building relationships. (Sounds familiar ;) )

This week in Here - There - Every F'ing where we found Lead It Like Lasso at...

🎙️ The Leadership Circle

We had the opportunity to sit down with Jeff Rose of Cognia’s Leadership Circle. Cognia offers a weekly Leader Chat with top K–12 experts, business executives, and school leaders from around the country to discuss and solve real leadership challenges. This podcast is for leaders in education who work tirelessly to help schools improve.

📦 Nate’s suggestion box: We want to hear from you all the great ideas and suggestions around various leadership topics you would love to see discussed (since Ted took care of the water pressure in the locker room, we can work on other requests 🙂). 

How do you make a suggestion? Just hit reply to this email (do not put gum in your keyboard like Jamie Tartt - just send your ideas our way!)

Bring a friend to the Weekly Curiosities! :) Bonus points if you forward this to your Diamond Dogs. Let’s learn, grow and lead together!